Creationism-related Phrases

Paleyontology - the study of how prehistoric life was obviously designed by God.

Gould-mining - the deliberate misquoting of evolutionary scientists to make them appear to reject evolution.

Dembskiing - practicing the theory that it's all down hill, and that going up hill (in terms of complexity or information) is impossible, without a divine ski-lift. see also Irreducible Mendacity

Ham sandwich - can refer to Answers In Genesis, or anything else equally tasteless with Ken Ham in the middle of it

DissComfort - what you will want to do if you listen to his attempt to use the banana as an example supernatural intelligent design

Captain's Log - refers to any specific example of the verbal excreta from the mouth of "Captain" Kirk Cameron

VenomFangExcommunicated - banned from VenomFangX's forum or prevented from commenting on his Youtube videos

Tony Blaaaeuurgh - the noise produced when vomiting at faith-heads who spew vacuous platitudes to fawning crowds of their fellows

Crocoduck - Creationist weapon against evolution, see also croc-o-sh*t

Al McGrath Generator - a device for producing increasingly vague theology

Natural Selection - a collection of cosmetic products from the new Darwin 200 range, available in all good shops

Palin-drome - A concept that is utterly devoid of merit whatever way you look at it. (created by SixxSixxSixx over at RichardDawkins.net )

Genesis - Gollum's way of pronouncing the word "genes"

Green fingers - The hand gestures that people make when they see Stephen Green (created by SixxSixxSixx)

Bowling Green - a strong and partially irrational desire to throw Christian fundamentalists at pins.

The Book Of Genesis - A silly idea that people should have forgotten about a long, long time ago. See also Phil Collins. (created by SixxSixxSixx)

hovindian - ridiculous; scientifically illiterate on a massive scale, see Hovind Scale

Ted Haggaring - Negotiating your drug costs with a male prostitute (by Dinoboy)

Tedhaggarred - a state of exhaustion after successfully Ted Haggaring, see also tedded

Phelps - 1 -the opposite of "helps" 2 - One who hates cigarettes

Schindler's televangeList - a non-existent film with a historically unverified premise, wherein Schindler made a list of televangelists, rounded them up, and traded them for the lives of the innocent Schindlerjuden.

Moroni - plural of "moron", applied specifically to members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints

Trinity - most ridiculous term for conveying the notion that there is only one god yet devised.

Jesus - A popular name in MexicoNativity - not to be confused with naivete

Geology - it rocks!

Easter - obsolete, was cancelled when they found the body

Communion - a cannibalistic act involving wine (esp. Chianti), not actually a contraction of Communist Union

Wascal's Pager - a device Jonathan Ross employs for communications purposes, not to be confused with Pascal's Wager

Cathalcoholism - damaging addiction to either the Pope or alcohol, see Catholicism and alcoholism

The Blair Necessities - insubstantial and meaningless things, such as spin and faith; one who considers these things are important and better suited to direct our actions than rational thought

Benstein - The opposite of Einstein; lacking capacity for brilliance or scientific understanding, irrational & uninspiring

Al Franken-Stein - two comedians (one intentionally), both potentially competing for the 2016 US presidential election

Lazy Reviews & Brilliant Epitaphs

Lazy Reviews:

Tim Minchin - "A young Mick Hucknall..... on acid!"

Bill Bailey - "A Westcountry man.... on acid!"

Vinegar - "Acid.... on chips!"



Brilliant Epitaphs:

"I told you I was ill" - Spike Milligan

"..but who's the world going to revolve around now?" - Tim Minchin

Shameless begging: Need a mobile phone?

Apparently I get £50 if you buy a contract mobile phone from mobiles.co.uk (part of the Carphone Warehouse) using the link below ('cos I just bought one from there myself):

http://www.mobiles.co.uk/refer.aspx?refer=cust665880

So if you want a new contract mobile, do it using that link and you could make me rich... go on, you know you want to!

They're quite cheap too, and you can get a free PS3, Wii or Laptop with some of them...bargain!