Drunk on Jesus? Nope...drunk on Jack! ;-)
Wednesday, 7 May 2008
Monday, 5 May 2008
Celebrities: How Tall Are They Really?
I've been hearing a lot of people go on about how short all the Hollywood actors are, how Tom Cruise wears special shoes to boost his height etc. But could this be true?
Are all the Hollywood action heroes really suffering from inhibited verticality?
I've read the heights of various celebrities on various websites and magazines (don't ask why I read such horrific celebrity nonsense, the shame is still to great for me to answer!), but seeing numbers on a page doesn't really give a good idea of how they all compare to each other.
Therefore, in the interests of increased understanding, I have used the latest technology (Open Office 2.4 no less) to produce a highly scientific graph.
Thanks to the wonders of modern computing I can now present a meaningful comparison of celebrity heights - ever wanted to know how far up Shaquille O'Neal Gary Coleman's head would be?
I hope not, but if you did, then your question is about to be answered:
I've included myself as a comparison (I'm about average height, maybe an inch or so above it), and as you can clearly see a monkey up a pole (6 foot) comes up to about Shaq's neck.
I'm about half a head taller than both Cruise and Banderas, who are both widely rumoured to be tiny, but as this graph shows, actually are quite normal. At least as far as height is concerned anyway.
The top of pint-sized popster Kylie's head would come up to about nose height on both these Hollywood heroes, and to just under my chin.
She'd probably come up to just under the height of Shaq's nipples. Yes, see how modern technology can reveal highly useful (and not even slightly disturbing) information - even 20 years ago we would have had no way to find out how far up basket-ball stars pop-stars' heads would come (save getting them to stand near each other - a highly expensive proposition!), but now we can calculate it in the privacy of our own homes.
Who knows that wonders technology will enable in the next 20 years?
Are all the Hollywood action heroes really suffering from inhibited verticality?
I've read the heights of various celebrities on various websites and magazines (don't ask why I read such horrific celebrity nonsense, the shame is still to great for me to answer!), but seeing numbers on a page doesn't really give a good idea of how they all compare to each other.
Therefore, in the interests of increased understanding, I have used the latest technology (Open Office 2.4 no less) to produce a highly scientific graph.
Thanks to the wonders of modern computing I can now present a meaningful comparison of celebrity heights - ever wanted to know how far up Shaquille O'Neal Gary Coleman's head would be?
I hope not, but if you did, then your question is about to be answered:
I've included myself as a comparison (I'm about average height, maybe an inch or so above it), and as you can clearly see a monkey up a pole (6 foot) comes up to about Shaq's neck.
I'm about half a head taller than both Cruise and Banderas, who are both widely rumoured to be tiny, but as this graph shows, actually are quite normal. At least as far as height is concerned anyway.
The top of pint-sized popster Kylie's head would come up to about nose height on both these Hollywood heroes, and to just under my chin.
She'd probably come up to just under the height of Shaq's nipples. Yes, see how modern technology can reveal highly useful (and not even slightly disturbing) information - even 20 years ago we would have had no way to find out how far up basket-ball stars pop-stars' heads would come (save getting them to stand near each other - a highly expensive proposition!), but now we can calculate it in the privacy of our own homes.
Who knows that wonders technology will enable in the next 20 years?
Sunday, 4 May 2008
International Starwars Day
Yes, it's May the Fourth, the most appropriately dated International Day of all time - International Starwars Day: May the Fourth be with you!
Starwars has been one of the biggest, if not the biggest, cultural phenomena of the last 31 years.
Since its release in 1977 people have been enjoying the space opera that is Starwars, now comprising of 6 films plus some spin-offs (Ewoks, Droids, Clone Wars, numerous computer games and more).
Some people even liked Jar Jar Binks, but they should not admit this in front of any hardcore Starwars fans since to them Jar Jar is anathema.
Many a grown man still harbours fantasies involving lightsabers and Sith Lords. Men between about 5 and 55 who deny having such fantasies are either liars or genuinely didn't see the films while they were young and impressionable enough to be instilled with the secret desire to be a Jedi Knight.
The Jedi religion has won many converts in the real world, with 0.7% of people in the 2001 UK Census declaring themselves as Jedi, and according to the survey results, Jedi was the third most popular religion in Scotland.
New Zealand had the highest per capita population of reported Jedi in the world in 2o01, with 1.5%. This would have made it the second most popular religion in the country, but tragically the spoilsports at Statistics New Zealand didn't count allow it to count officially. I sense that they may have been infiltrated by agents of the Sith ;-)
On Starwars day you should gather your friends around you and enjoy a special Starwars supper:
Starwars has also been parodied on many occasions - some of the best include:
Watch the video to "The Saga Begins" on Youtube. Definitely a hit I reckon!
I'll leave you all with perhaps the ultimate home-made lightsaber action this side of Tatooine - The Starwars Kid:
Raise a glass to the Force, gloss over the dodgy brother-sister kiss, and give one another Starwars-related gifts* (they probably won't be surprises though...if the recipient is a true Starwars fan they will have surely have felt your presents!).
Happy Starwars Day everyone....May the Fourth be with you!
*if you've got lots of spare cash then buy this R2D2 home cinema projector!
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